I head to Mike's bar and purchase IED's (Improvised Explosive Devices) which in this game basically work as explosive charges with a detonator. Then I head back to Pala, which once again has settled down, and go to the UFLL office, where Gakumba and Carbonell have some work for me. Apparently, this country had a king once, and he's looking to start running the show again. As Gakumba sees it, this will never happen, "not in my lifetime". He's back in the country with a buttload of gold which is currently just sitting at an oasis, and Gakumba wants me to claim the treasure for the UFLL. I accept, netting a phat paycheck on my way out. I like the whole "pay up-front" scheme these militia guys have. It makes actually completing their jobs a lot easier.
On my way out the door, I once again receive a call from Michele, asking me to meet her at a safehouse by a lake. First I go back to Mike's and buy a PKM light machine gun to replace my RPG, and a secondary weapon crate, which will let me store whatever that weapon might be at all the armouries and safehouses, accessible at any time. I head to the bus station back in Pala and head to the stop nearest Michele.
I cleared out the first checkpoint on my way to the rendezvous easily enough but was left with practically no ammo for my assault rifle. I continued on to the checkpoint just before the lakeside meeting point, and saw it was really two separate guard posts. Two houses were on the same side of the lake as me, and then another house on the other side with a path behind it that led up to the checkpoint proper, and there were guards everywhere. I took care of a couple of the guards at the house closest to me and moved through it to the dock. As I was scouting the guards at the house across the lake I heard someone searching for me, which genuinely unnerved me. I hadn't seen anyone else as I'd moved into the house. I moved back through the house and used my PKM to eliminate the small group of men outside, and the commotion was noticed across the lake. I could see through my monocular that they were scrambling, and it wouldn't be long before a couple of them would hop in the assault boat docked there and scoot on over to where I was.
I decided to beat them at their own game, climbing into the assault boat docked at my house and turning it around so the machine gun could hit them. I made short work of all the other militia in the area, and breezed past the now unoccupied checkpoint to the safehouse. Michele was there to tell me that she had a job for me: apparently, the prince wants me to kill his father, retrieve his signet ring, and then bring it back to this safehouse so the son can claim his family's fortune and keep on being a playboy. I don't think I've ever actually killed a king before, so I signed on on the basis that you should try everything at least once. As I turn to leave, I notice on the floor that this time Michele has provided (or just left sitting over there, same difference) a very high-end sniper rifle. I do have a heavy machine gun that's ridiculously powerful, and the king is going to be holed up in a fort, so I figure this'll probably help me get a drop on the guards on the towers. I sleep till just after one in the morning.
As I set out, I notice that the rifle actually looks like it might be in good condition, and might not be comprised primarily of rust like the MGL-140 seemed to be. Maybe Michele actually came through this time or wanted to make up for the crappy quality of the last gun. After I drive through the still empty checkpoint, I nearly collide with a zebra on the road. I stop before I hit it, and it just stares at me and scampers off. First time that's ever happened to me. At least, head on. I'm pretty sure I've side-swiped some wildlife before this. They actually don't do as much damage to the car as you'd think.
I decide to barrel past the checkpoint ahead, figuring it isn't worth my time, which turns out to be a ridiculously dumb move. Not one but two jeeps give chase and I manage to take out my pursuers, but have to perform first aid when the skirmish is over, in this case consisting of violently setting my arm back into place. "Ow," I say as I get back into a car and set off towards the fort. I decide to secure a safehouse on the way, and sure enough, there's a small path behind it. Unfortunately, it only leads to another dune buggy, not a back entrance to the fort like I'd hoped. I grumble to myself as I climb into my free car, which just happens to be in perfect condition. It's hard out here for a pimp.
I do manage to find a side path that leads up the valley to the fort, though, and I kill my headlights as I drive up it. When it ends I climb out and move up a rocky side path on foot. I'm not charging head-on at the main gate, which is promising, but I'm carrying a high-caliber sniper rifle, demolition charges, and a machine gun. Stealth doesn't really seem to be an option. If someone spots me, my only choice is to take them out with some of the loudest weapons you can carry short of a grenade launcher. Well, that or die.
But I actually don't encounter any guards on the trail, or at the wall once I reach it. I slink around the side and come across a small entrance to the upper courtyard. The building with the king in it is right in front of me, and all the guards are looking in the opposite direction of me. With this stroke of luck, I come up with a plan: in, bang, GTFO. I know, elegant in its simplicity, right? I manage to enter the central tower without being spotted, and I pull out my machete as I creep up to the second floor. As soon as he spots me the king starts berating me, and I've never been one to stand for that shit, so it's machete time. Again.
Surprisingly, his dying gurgles don't attract any guards. I take his ring and creep back downstairs. As I stop to retrieve a diamond from its case behind a bunch of boards of plywood, a guard turns and spots me. I kind of figured that greed would do that to me, but I don't really care. I blow that guy away with my PKM and run out the side entrance, taking out another guard and continuing on. They don't actually seem to be pursuing me, which is nice of them.
As I make it to the trail downhill to my car, a sniper in one of the fort's towers starts taking potshots at me. Rather than risking him plugging me as I climb into my car, I decide to stop and put that rifle to good use. I crouch behind a rock, zero in on him, and then start cursing as it jams on the first round. Michele isn't just a slut; she's a megaslut.
I clear the jam and take the sniper down, then make it to my car and speed off in the direction I'd come. The first checkpoint is clear, and I'm almost home free when it turns out that in the five minutes I've been gone, someone decided to staff the checkpoint right in front of the hideout with a full complement of guards. I try speeding past them but get shot a bunch and instead just end up crashing the buggy into a bunch of sandbags. I climb out, bleeding out of pretty much my entire body, and take cover in the machine gun post. By now I'm down to my last chunk, which means bleeding out.
I try to apply first aid, but I'm taking so much fire that it's impossible. The last bit of my health slips away and I fall to the ground. My heart sinks. This is it. I'm done. Dead. Not even halfway there.
But then something miraculous happens. Specifically: Marty Alencar. Marty happens. SHIT YEAH.
He runs up to me and picks me up. I fade in and out of consciousness as he carries me to safety, at one point shooting a guy waving a machete at us in the face, then plugging him a few more times after he's on the ground just to be safe. Finally he sets me down so I can cauterize my wound with a burning piece of tall grass, then hands me a pistol. I get ready for a fight, but it's not necessary. Marty cleared out the outpost singlehandedly, and he did it all while lugging my sorry ass out of it. I ask if I can hug him, but he just tells me "not to make it weird, dude."
I realized that I'd grown careless. I'd wiped out so many militia and checkpoints by this point that I felt I could just drive straight into the middle of one and take them all down, guns blazing. Far Cry 2 doesn't allow for that, especially if you're playing under some ridiculous, self-imposed limit like no deaths. You can't just disregard strategy or caution. Doing so will get you killed. Clearly, I can't let my guard down ever again.
I make it to the safehouse and give the prince his dead dad's ring. He's sent Michele on ahead to the oasis, and gives me one of his cars as a gift. I store the pistol Marty gave me in my newly purchased crate, then drive off in the prince's Jeep (that's Jeep, not jeep. Product placement strikes again!). At the checkpoint, I stop to retrieve the IED's from where I dropped them and try to ignore the all too present stench of fear-urine.
After some thrilling off road action I arrive at the oasis to find it pretty much deserted. No APR guards like I was promised, but no APR corpses either. It doesn't take a genius to realize something isn't right here. A country like this isn't going to just leave alone a big pile of gold that's just sitting in the middle of the desert. I set a charge on the fuel pile as a precaution, then meet up with Michele next to the well that's holding the gold. I climb down a couple of ladders into the hole and come across quite a lot of gold, indeed. I text the UFLL with the location and climb back up.
It's after the first ladder that I hear the screeching tires and gunshots. Thought so. I whip out the detonator and press the button. There's an extremely gratifying explosion, followed by a scream that's even more so. I climb up the second ladder and find out there are still a lot of APR guards around. They've taken down Michele, who's lying in pain in the middle of the rubble that comprises what used to be the village near this oasis. A tense shootout ensues as I try not to hit Michele, at one point shooting a guy right over her head.
After the mopping up's done, the mission is complete, but my business here isn't. I go over to Michele and check her wounds. She'll probably live. I pop a syrette and jab it into her neck, and the miracle drug goes to work. She stands up, apparently no worse for wear. She probably didn't mean to give me shitty guns, it was just a fluke. I'll give her another chance. We part ways, me for the bus stop and her for her home on whore island.
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