Titanfall: So You Want to Pilot Giant Robots Better

So Titanfall's pretty awesome. And they did something interesting with their prestige system. When you've hit the maximum level and want to start over so you can do it all again, it's presented in-universe as your cybernetically enhanced pilot opting to get "regenerated", which means a brand spanking new body but none of their original memories from since they've showed up on the frontier.

The setting also features robot infantry known as "Spectres".

So last Saturday, after a wee bit too much alcohol, I took that idea and ran with it, resulting in this:

Recorded from Hammond Robotics' Sparta Regeneration Facility, Dr. Rick ------- Ranking Technician

Next. Good morning. Here for the regen right? Good good, let me see your file here. Service on Troy, Battle of Demeter...neat stuff. Ah, first time here. Okay, gotta give you the spiel. If you'll walk this way...



Right, step one. You take a seat in this fancy chair here and we lull you into a nice, relaxing sleep thanks to our good old friend anesthetics, then we plug this into the back of your- yes you do. No, I guarantee you have one. Yes. You. Do. Feel the back of your neck. Right now. Seriousl-theeeere you go. The whole time since the enhancement procedure, I swear. Not my fault you haven't ever found it.

Anyway, we knock you out, plug this bad boy into the socket on your neck and- yes, just like that movie. Har har. Why would I ever have heard that one before, you're just so damn clever, now shut up. We plug you in and that lets us transfer your brain into the computer here. Well, I say that, but really that's not at all what we're doing. There's a shitload more to it than that but after the amount of cranial trauma you've no doubt experienced in the valiant service of our employer, I'll just leave it at that.

Then we take your digitized consciousness and transfer it into this bad boy here. Oh, come on, it can't be that surprising. Let me guess, you didn't read the fine print? We get exclusive rights to your genetic material, lock, stock, and barrel. Always pays to have a clone or two on hand, that's my motto. Cooked this guy up as soon as you made this appointment. Anyway, we just slap your consciousness into him and you're good to go. You won't remember anything from since you first enlisted but that's half the fun, innit? Get to experience the whole thing all over again like it's the first time. To be honest, I kinda envy you guys.

And that's about all there is to it. Hm, wuzzat? Well, no. I mean, aside from the ethical concerns, it just isn't very cost effective to delete a digitized consciousness. There are tons of applications for a ready-to-go machine learning template, although given your expertise, it does lend itself to one area in particular.

Oh come on. Which do you think is cheaper, corralling a bunch of nerds to program a robot so it's familiar with every possible type of terrain or combat scenario it could encounter, or to take a readymade brain with hundreds of logged hours on duty and slap it into a body with functionally the same abilities?

Look at it this way. You've got at best a .005% chance of running into a Spectre out there that thinks it's you, and after that, there's only a .0025% chance of having to kill robot you. So really, you've got nothing to worry about. Now come on, hop into the chair and let's get this over with. Almost time for lunch.